my life during intern

i've started my internship for one week already.
and i'm left speechless..
it's killing me....
i know im not ready or matured enough to work now
but i know that this cant be avoided and it's the reality..
every single moment, i find it hard to get used to my work..

when i was small and young....
i was well protected by my parents....
and i do not have to face this kind of problem..
for other ppl, this may seem to be just a small issue...
but not for me..
ya i know im childish..
im sorry

i always thought im strong..
im capable of holding back my tears..
especially in front of my love ones..
i did not even shed any tear in front of them..
because i wanted to hide this feeling from them..
i always act like im a strong one,
but actually im not....

i cried this past sunday..
i couldnt hold it anymore.
and again ..
i hide myself in the toilet and cry alone without my parent's knowledge..
i really felt much better after i cried
however..
i remained positive..
no matter what might come at me in the future..
i will continue to fight ...
i just have to continuously tell myself that im better than this..
i must stay strong to get past these 3 months...

stay strong ....!!!!
:')

intern

i've started my intern today,
is freaking tired ...@@
i'm working in a bridal shop in ipoh ...
first day of working ...
quite boring ..
may be bcause is the first day..
...so we have ntg to do ...just do some cleaning work ...
felt quite awkward when ppl looking at u, but u have nt much things to do...lol
but quite lucky, bcause my supervisor quite ok , quite friendly and willing to help...
my only wish is, wish everything go smoothly ..
god bless me..
god bless my fren too..!!


gambate tomorrow lo !!!.
=]

with them, laughing is around

waw waw waw ...
2 months never update my blog !!!
quite a long time !!!..
but seriously, i dunno wat to blog ...
everytime i log in to my blog, i was like stopped at there for few mins..
duno wat to blog...
and finally today, i gt things to blog, to update !!..hahah
well...time flies..
2 more weeks, my Y2S3 life almost come to the end.....
at the same time..my Y2 life will going to have a full stop soon....
haiz....
in other words, i going to graduate soon !!
@@
seriously, time passed fast.....
well...many things happened during this 2 years...
like, i knows a gang of crazy frens...
sometimes they like a teacher, keep on "lecturing" me...
sometimes they like a aunty/uncle(pasar tat one), keep on gossip ...
haha...
i have another first time with them in this sem...
waw..
my first time went to cruises..!!!
have a lot of fun there ....XDDD
and my first time went to clubbing !!
omg....
never tot it will happened to me...
hahaha..
but still, a good experience .XDD

with them, laughing is around....
with them, all the crazy things come out..@@
but still..
we ENJOY it !!..XDD
we exchange our "story" with each others....
we learn from each others..
we appreciate each others...
and
we love each others...
<3

but next sem, we do our intern in different places...
all the crazy things have to put aside first ..
how sad...
suan ..
btw..
i'll have my first paper in this sem by nxt friday ..
and i nt yet finish study !!!
arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

all the best to UTARIAN and myself !!!

p/s: tot wanna upload some pic, but i dun have softcopy nw...><

i do miss u

i cant believe tat i dumb my blog for more than one months..@@

my god...

this blog post is for my aunt which ad went bac to newzealand..TT

i do miss you ..<3

time flies, i just realized that u have been there(newzealand) for more than 7 years...

in this 7 years,

u change alot...

u become very mature, very independent ...

and now u're a mother for ur child, wife for ur husband..

glad to see there ...

it just like happened yesterday..

when we're still in secondary school..

u're my senior, that always take care of me..

and now, u're a mother..

it's just seems like we getting older...XDDDDD

i wan to say congrat to u that u found a good guy as ur husband..

and get ur first baby last year ...

congrat !!!!

;)

next, i wan say thank you..

thx alot for the pre-birthday celebration..

thanks alot for the present ;)

i appreciate it alot ...

lastly, i wan to say good luck to u..

and take care urself...

;)

i will very miss u..<3 <3

looking forward the next next year ..;)

p/s: great present ;)

my first year in primary school.

last Wednesday, the year end school holidays finally came to a stop ....
and students from primary and secondary school had to pack up their bags.....
and head back to their respective school.....

well...
actually i'm talking about my little cousin who finally graduated from her kindergarten years...

and now, she has to set foot on a completely new environment, entering a primary school in which i attended when i was small-SRJK(C) Perak, Ipoh

my family and i wanted to see her in her new uniform in her new school, so we decided follow along..XDDDDDDD

well......this takes me back to the time when i was at her age...
i still remember when i first set foot on there...

there was mixed emotion, good and bad, nervous , anxious, and ofcourse, excited....

nervous with the fact that i was scared and know nothing of this new environment....
and my mum had to accompany me until i finished my lunch.....
But because of that, i was excited to knowing that my mum had supported me ...
and i had grown up, gotta learn how to be independent, how to take care of myself, how to buy foods or snacks at the canteen .....
like wat my mum said:" u're big enough, gonna take care urself"
waw, how excited....(naive)@@

in the classroom....
i had to sit at the front, the seats nearest to the blackboard @@
bcause i'm short ..@@
haha...
but lucky tat i'm not the only shorty in that class....
the boy sitting next to me had the same height as mine xD
i can't remember his name though ...
hahahahahaha

On the third day, my mum didn't come because she had accompany me for 2 days..
but daddy came instead ....
Despite of his busy work, he still managed to find some free time and came to see me during lunch time.....
and bought me a soya drink which only cost 20$$$......
i was so touched and tears began to flood my eyes...
but i was able to hold it in front of him.....

i still remembered what my mum told me, i've grown up and shouldn't behave like that,
stay strong.......
in the end, i did not shed a tear..
pro lo..XD

hahahaha...guess which one is me...XD







while,
i met a girl named Sophia during my first year in primary school.....
and she has been my best fren since then ....
counting back the years, we've have known each other for more than a decade....
and this is what i called "friendship forever"

how time flies, one blink of an eye and many years had past.....
although i still felt that it was just yesterday ....

to be honest, i dun really want to graduate....

i'm scared of what i might face when i step into my career path....

i'm scared of facing the world with people wearing so many different type of mask.....

i'm scared of facing the reality that i have to work hard to make a living and problems that came along......

but deep down inside i know i can't never escape from these situations because they are part of the slice of life.....

results released ...
i get worst results in my degree..TT
so sad ......
suan .....
next sem gonna work harder...

p/s: thanks alot to someone tat willing to help..=)

getting sick

i tot this will be a wonderful sem break ..
but seems like i'm wrong...
getting sick with their prob...
nt bcause i selfish or wat..
but is bcause they're nt willing to listen ..
wat we can do ..
already 30 years old ..
how come act like a child...
voice out the prob, but nt willing to solve it..
wat for, meaningless...
wat u guys know? u guys are super selfish..
super childish..
u guys just care ur own feelings ..
everyday also say wanna divorce..
how old are u ..
how about the children..
brainless...
wat u guys know..
u guys know hw to make ppl worry ...
bcause of u ..
4 families being affected...
my god..
din even feel guilty ...
really speechless...

everyday i'm thinking..
is tat the prob ad solve?
is tat we can sleep well tonight..
but end up..
the phone non-stop ringing ...
is all about u cant accept ..
all about ur low self-esteem...
is about U !
same words goes to u every msg..
but did u really try to understand it...
i dunno ...
and i wondered why u willing waste ur time in thinking something negative..
but nt the way to solve the prob or make urself strong..
seriously, i have no idea wat to say ..
every family will have their own prob...
dun think tat u're the worst..
and
ur problem is nt the problem !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
quarrel with this kind of prob, is really stupid !!!
divorce bcause of this is nt worth and stupid..
guess, hw shame when u tell the judge u guys divorce bcause of tat "prob"
goshhhh..

ppl will think tat why i emo bcause of others prob...
but actually nt i wan..
is everytime i saw my mum sick with their prob..
cant sleep well bcause of them..
i really sad...
and i cant ask my mum to stop it...
arhhh..wat can i do..
haiz..
problem can not be solved when 2 sides nt work together...

god bless tat everything will be ok soon...

p/s: drunkard

sem break

yuhoo !!
sem break lo !!!
lets party !!
XDD
well...
finished the last paper ...
erm...
nt really good...
bcause i cant finish it on time...
abit sad...
but is ok....
is time to count down for Christmas and new year !
yeah !!!
finally this sem is over !

lastly, i wan apologize for the mistakes tat i did..
i wan say sorry if i did something tat make u angry...
sorry and
happy holiday !!!!

p/s: mutual understanding is needed..
s0 tat, conflict will nt happen ....
but is ok..
everything is done =)